Smasher's Boarding School
by NaviLegacy
Summary: "Did your dad send us to a school for animals?" Ike asked incredulously, watching a large monkey enter the building, followed by a pink marshmallow. "Uhh... maybe it's a school for freaks?" Marth guessed. "Hmm... I think your father's trying to say something about us..."
1. Fools of Altea!

**This chapter was something I'd wrote quite a while ago which is a little aside to my main Legend of Zelda story. But I just wanted to put it up on here to see how well my humerous side would fair. Please enjoy! :D**

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><p><em>Located on the continent of Akaneia. Our fair country: Altea. <em>

_A land that withholds a sustained balance of power and pride after our wars had come to an end._

_The evil that loomed has ceased existence, and our land has successfully returned to its original state. _

_May we remain triumphant throughout our lives,_

_and keep the memories of our kingdom held dearly in our hearts..._

"Well that was brief!" Ike noted.

"Well it wouldn't be if you turn the page..." Marth sighed.

Ike took the page and turned it, tearing it in the process, "Oh yeah, there are more words!" He exclaimed, "Chapter 1..."

"Hey Ike, someone's coming!"

Ike jumped out of the king's chair, dropping the book he was reading as he stood. They were both in King Cornelius' study, hiding from a girl that they both considered to be quite "scary" as Ike described her.

_**Flashback!**_

_"That girl is damn scary." Ike mused._

_"I know! I just hope I don't have nightmares!"_

_**End flashback!**_

"Oh no, we're in trouble!" Ike stated.

"Yeah if it's her, we're dead! If it's anyone else, we'll be forced to our duties!"

"Oh God, I don't know which is worse!"

"Quick! Let's hide!" Marth ordered. They both ducked under the large, mahogany desk, hushing each other and hiding themselves as best they could.

The large door creaked open and footsteps could be heard approaching the desk. With each footstep, Marth grew more and more anxious as to who it was, untill the footsteps came to a hault at ,what sounded like, the opposite side of the desk.

"_Now what!" _Marth voiced soundlessly to Ike. Ike raised an eyebrow and shrugged in reply. "_Looks like we're dead!"_ He mouthed back to Marth.

_"How can you tell?"_ He asked silently.

_"It sounded like the way a woman walks!"_

_"What? How can you even know that!"_

_"...You know, I have no idea..."_

"Are you two quite finished?" Ike and Marth jumped at the sound of a voice from above their heads (Ike, hitting his head off the top of the desk as he did so.) They looked up to find Soren looking down at the pair questioningly.

The two swordsmen jumped to their feet as Soren straightened on his. "Soren, my good friend! What brings you here?" Ike said anxiously rubbing the back of his head.

"Well I came here with you Ike. Why're you and Marth hiding when we're meant to be discussing our alliance with the king? Titania's having to apologize for you, so you better get moving."

"Oh man, I forgot about that! Me and Marth were just uh... hiding from his girlfriend." He said, pointing his thumb toward Marth accordingly.

"Hiding from Marth's girlfriend..." Soren repeated skeptically. "Let me get this straight. You'd fight with the all powerful and fearsome 'Black knight'! But when it comes to facing a girl, you run cowering with fear...?"

"We do not 'run cowering with fear'. We just... like to play hide and seek with the ladies! Yeah... uh, every woman loves a man that not only battles bravely, but a man that would also happily show that he has a caring side!"

"And playing hide and seek shows that you care?"

"I'm sure you'd enjoy it too Soren. After all, Ike did mistake you for a lady!" Marth smirked.

"What!" Soren turned on Ike, charging a ball of fire in his hands.

"Ah no! I only thought that because your footsteps reminded me of how a woman would walk!" Ike explained, holding his hands out defensively.

The ball of fire diminished from Soren's hands, "You think I walk like a woman?" He asked.

"No! Only the way it sounded. Don't take it personally, I thought Marth was a woman when I first met him! No offence Marth."

Marth pulled an expression as if to say "_How on earth can you mistake me for a woman!"_ from Ike's side, before pouting, "Alot taken!"

"Okay can we just forget you ever said that Ike, and would you just come to the meeting?" Soren said.

"Okay fine! Looks like you're on your own Marth."

"But what will I do if she finds me!" He panicked.

"If she see's you, quickly drop to the ground and play dead!"

"But that won't make her leave me alone."

"Sure it will! Remember what I told you, 'She has no heart'. If she see's you dead, she'll leave you alone!" Ike exclaimed confidently.

"Are you sure?" Marth asked uncertainly.

"Sure as the sky is blue!"

"But it's cloudy today..."

"Just trust me!"

"...Okay."

"See ya buddy!" Ike waved.

Marth watched as Ike left the room with Soren before departing on his own accord. But before he was able to wander idly wherever it was he wanted to go, a certain blue-haired princess spotted him as he passed through the never-ending hallway.

"Oh Marth there you are!" She called, happily waving at him.

He turned to see Sheeda. His eyes immediately widened in horror.

"Marth are you okay?" She asked confused.

He didn't know what to do. His brain stopped functioning at her terrifying presence! After trying to find something to say to the eager girl, he quickly remembered what Ike had told him.

"Oh uhh.. AH! I'm dyyyiiing!" He slowly collapsed to the floor, with one arm held dramatically in the air as if grasping for life, before slumping to the ground. He lay on his side, remaining perfectly still as Sheeda gasped at his (what seemed to her) unconscious body.

"Oh my God!"

_"I have to find help!"_ She thought to herself, before quickly running off in search of a nearby guard.

After listening to her footsteps fade from his hearing, he picked himself up off the ground. "Wow! I can't believe what Ike had said had actually worked... She must really be a heartless demon..." He mused aloud. "Well, guess I can continue with my day!" He said happily taking off down the hall.

Sheeda returned shortly later with two bodyguards struggling to keep up with her rushed pace. (Of which they blamed their heavy uniforms)

"What the...?" She said, coming to an abrupt stop, causing the guards to tumble past her. "What is it your majesty?" One guard asked, slightly annoyed by her 'much ado about nothing'!

"Marth was here. He collapsed! I saw him!" The two guards looked at each other as if she'd gone insane.

"Well miss, you must be hallucinating. He is quite obviously not present now."

She turned to look the guard directly in the eye. "I'll have you know, I'm not hallucinating. I'm not crazy! He was here!"

"Come with us miss, we'll take you to your room!" The other guard spoke to her as if he were speaking to a young child or a puppy.

"Ugh! I must need some rest..."

"Yes! That's right dear! Good girl!"

"Don't speak to me that way!" She shouted.

Whilst Sheeda returned to her room with the cautious help of the two guards, Marth meanwhile, had been called to the attention of his father. He quickly made his way to the main hall, where his father stood debating lawful issues to a group of people. Some of which included Ike, Soren and Titania. (Or pretty much only Ike, Soren and Titania!)

"Ah, Marth! Come over. We have been discussing an alliance between Altea and Crimea. Apparently their Queen: Elincia, wishes to ally our countries in order to gain a better standard of living for our people!" King Cornelius proclaimed.

"That's great!" Marth replied with a broad smile, even though he'd rather be doing something more interesting than standing there, discussing political terms with his father.

He looked over at Ike, who smiled when he caught his attention.

"_Hey I did what you said to do if Sheeda caught me. And it actually worked!" _He mouthed.

_"That's great! I told you she doesn't have a heart!"_

_"I'm starting to worry on how you know these things!"_

_"...Me too."_

"Greil Mercenaries, I give you my sincere gratitude towards this suggestion of Queen Elincia-" King Cornelius began.

_"You know, we are amazing lip readers!" _Ike mouthed.

"-And I find the idea of uniting our two kingdom's-"

_"I know right. It's a wonder how we're so good at this sort of thing!"_

"-Highly logical. So I have decided to-"

_"We're so gifted!"_

"-Ike, why on earth do you keep moving your mouth?" The large king turned to his son, who stood beside him innocently. "Marth would you stop distracting my guests!" He sighed.

"What did I do?" He questioned defensively.

"Whatever's causing that!" He responded, gesturing towards Ike, who smiled and waved indifferently.

"Don't look at me, I'm not his father!"

Cornelius placed his hand against his forehead and grunted "That's not what I meant!"

"Your royal highness, I apologize, _again_, for Ike's behaviour." Titania bowed.

"No I should apologize, it is my fault after all. So... What was it you were saying, your majesty?" Ike asked.

"Uhh... Oh yes! I have decided to agree to Queen Elincia's suggestion. We will hold a meeting in two days time at the Crimean castle, and I shall attend there personally to organize our alliance."

"Thank you your majesty!" Titania bowed, _again._

"My pleasure miss. The Greil Mercenaries may stay here with us untill we depart for Crimea. My servants will show you to your rooms, and you will be expected to join us for dinner. That is, if you wish to stay?"

"Of course we will your majesty. Thank you for your hospitality... Wow... I'm gonna be a rapper when I grow up!" Ike announced.

"Ike, you're already grown up!" Soren stated. "And F.Y.I. rapper's don't exist in this game!"

"You always have to ruin the fun!" He huffed. "And I'm only eighteen!"

"That is true. And he's even younger in the mind!" Titania added.

"This gives me an idea..." Marth mused.

"NO! No idea's! Especially coming from either of you!" Cornelius pointed towards Marth and Ike in turn. "Just be prepared for lunch, it will begin in one hour." With that he quickly took off before anything else could be said, particularly by Marth or Ike.

"What's with your daddy Marth? I get the feeling he's annoyed with us..."

"Well Ike, if you acted your age then maybe he'd take you more seriously!" Soren sighed.

The servants came forward, "May we show you to your rooms?" One asked.

"Please." Titania smiled. "Just try to behave yourself at lunch, okay Ike?" She said, patting him on the shoulder as she passed to follow the servant.

"Piece o' cake!" He winked. "...There is gonna be cake right?"

"I hate chocolate cake..." Marth muttered in reverie.

"How random... But while we're on the topic, I hate peanut butter sandwiches!" Ike announced.

"What's that got to do with cake?" Soren asked.

"Everything...!" He replied spookily.

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><p>After an hour had eventually passed by, the noble's and royal's placed themselves in their seats along the large table, preparing themselves for their royal banquet. Titania and Soren had already taken their seats as Ike entered through the doors at the same time the king was to be introduced to the dining room.<p>

Titania quickly noticed and stood up, gesturing Ike to get out of the way of the doors. Everyone looked at him in confusion as he stood quizzically watching Titania's hand motions. After a long moment he finally got the message and ducked onto the ground. He crawled to the side as the doors opened for the king to step foward.

"Ladies, gentlemen. His majesty, king Cornelius." The servant beside the door announced, as the king entered. "And his highness, prince Marth." The servant said shortly later as Marth followed his father to their seats.

Once they were seated, Ike quickly crawled over to his place opposite Marth and quietly slid himself upon to his chair. When he was properly seated, he looked around and noticed all eyes were watching him. Titania (Who was sitting beside him) sighed and put one hand against her forehead in attempt to hide her embarrasement.

"Are you quite finished?" The king asked, showing no effort to hide his annoyance of Ike's interuptance.

"Yes." He smiled, picking up the knife and fork that lay in front of him.

Cornelius raised his glass and everybody simultaneously followed his action. (Apart from Ike, who raised his glass a moment later.)

"To the Greil Merceneries, for their help in the unison of Altea and Crimea." He announced, less than eagerly.

"To the Greil Merceneries." Very un-enthusiastic voices sounded across the table as glasses clanked together.

After that was over, each of the servants and chef's brought forward the first course of the meal, whilst everybody began speaking happily to one another.

A plate was placed in front of Ike. He sat looking at the food questioningly before he began prodding at a piece of steak with his fork. he eventually decided to kick Marth in the leg to gain his attention.

"Ouch!" Marth sounded over the jumble of voices. A majority of the people turned to see what the problem was. "Uhh, sorry... the food burnt my mouth." He lied.

_"What!"_ He whispered harshly, turning his attention on Ike.

_"How do you eat this with these things?" _He mouthed, holding up the knife and the fork accordingly.

_"Try using your head!"_

_"Ohh..." _Ike bent his head close to the steak and picked it up with his mouth to show Marth. "Like this?" He mumbled.

Marth stared at him dumbfoundedly. He decided it would be useless to try and help Ike use a knife and fork, so he settled for telling him "Sure..."

Cornelius watched the two boys with growing impatience. "Ike, would you take that out of your mouth." He sighed. "God it's like your my second son!"

Ike dropped the steak out of his mouth. It fell onto the plate, knocking his glass of water in the process. The glass spun around wildly as Ike watched it, remaining very still and anxious, waiting for it to settle as if he could stop it tipping with his mind. The king also noticed the unsettled cup and flinched away. As did Marth and Titania.

This all happened in a matter of seconds, and afterwards, the glass decided to settle, merely spilling a drop of water.

"Whew! That was close." Ike puffed in relief.

"Lucky!" Marth said. He continued to cut off a piece of his steak. Untill his elbow made contact with something that sat self-consciously beside him. The water sprung out as the glass immediately fell on its side, soaking the king.

Cornelius jumped to his feet, causing the whole hall to collapse into silence. He glared with rage at the young prince, who looked away shamefully.

"Sorry father... Luck is _not _on my side."

The king steadied his breathing before speaking, "Would you just leave." He said in a semi-calm tone. "And take this clown with you!" He pointed straight at Ike.

"Hey I am no clown! ...I can't even juggle!" Ike pouted.

"Just shut up! You two are _really _trying my patience!"

"You can try mine if you want." Marth joked.

"Ugh! Just get out of here!" The king shrieked.

Marth and Ike sprang to their feet.

"Marth. This is _not _how a royal prince should act! I'm ashamed of you."

"Sorry..." He sighed, before him and Ike left the room.

Cornelius watched after them disapprovingly untill they were out of site. Servants brought him napkins to clean himself with, but he dismissed their offers and re-placed himself on his chair. All the while debating on what could be done to make his son more polite, honourable and worthy of becoming future king of Altea...

Everyone else in the room didn't know whether to continue their discussion or remain seated in silence. The talking gradually began to build up again after the king gave a wave of his hand to gesture for disscussion to continue.

"Your majesty what's wrong?" Titania asked with concern.

"Oh, well... I don't know what to do about Marth. He's acting like a reckless child."

"Well he _is_ a teenager... Maybe we should send them both somewhere where they can learn some respect!" Titania said jokingly.

"That... Is a brilliant idea!" King Cornelius noticeably brightened.

"...Really?" Titania asked skeptically.

"Yes, it's perfect! And I know the exact place to send them!"

"And where would that be?"

"Smasher's boarding school!" The king smiled mischievously.

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><p>"I can't believe he kicked us out!" Marth huffed.<p>

"I know, and I didn't even get to eat anything!"

The two of them walked aimlessly around the castle halls, untill they came up front with the pegasus knight princess: Sheeda.

"Marth there you are! What happened? You had collapsed in the halls earlier and when I came back with two guards, you were gone! The guards thought I'd been hallucinating! Where did you go?"

"Well... The guards were right. You must've been hallucinating!" He lied, speaking the way the guard had spoken to her earlier. He placed his hand on her forehead "Your head is slightly warmer than usual. You must be coming down with something!"

"I'm not!" She said, slapping his hand away. "I'm not ill and I'm not crazy! So stop speaking to me that way!"

"Why aren't you in the dining hall eating dinner?" Ike questioned.

"I was resting. What about you two?"

"We were kicked out for being too awesome!" Ike joked.

Sheeda ignored Ike's joke and turned to Marth, "Were you avoiding me all day?" She asked sternly.

"N-no! Of course not!" He replied nervously.

"Then prove it."

"Prove what how and why?" He asked suspiciously.

She sighed, "You have to prove you're not avoiding me by giving me a kiss to show me how much you love me, because I don't trust what you said. Clear?"

"...Oh um yeah. But I must warn you, I haven't brushed my teeth and I have a bit of steak stuck in my tooth, just here." He lied, scratching at his teeth.

"I don't care about your mouth, I only want your lips." She huffed.

"What about Ike's lips?"

"My lips aren't for sale!" Ike said quickly.

"Just kiss me."

"But I kissed a rabid dog on the mouth yesterday! I could give you the disease!"

She stared at him in puzzlement for a moment. "Who on earth would be stupid enough to do that...?"

"Can I answer that!" Ike interjected.

"No!" She growled. "You were avoiding me!" She accused, facing Marth.

"Aww I wouldn't call it 'avoiding'..." Marth began gently.

"Just quit with your pathetic lies! I hate you!" She shouted before storming off down the hall.

"Everyone seems to hate you today!" Ike laughed as Marth watched her leave.

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><p><strong>I must warn: This is only aside to my main story, (Because I'm terrible at keeping it to one story at a time! Yes I have issues...) so chapters may take a while to upload. But if I recieve at least 5 reviews and see that this story is actually making progress, then I may continue with this. Anyway thanks for reading! Please tell me what you thought and I would love to hear some ideas from you because I'm running a little short in this. ^_^' If you do I will clarify that it was wholly your idea. Hmm... sounds like fun... You give me your suggestion for this story and I'll see what I can do. :D I want lots of suggestions! ...Which probably won't happen... XD<strong>


	2. Arrival at a school for freaks

**Hola amigos! Please have fun reading my writing! Oh and I don't own Smash Brothers, but I wuv Pikachu!**

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><p>"Your majesty?" Titania called as she knocked the door to the king's study.<p>

"Come in." Came his raspy voice.

She cautiously opened the door, gently closing it behind her before she began to walk forward. "So are the placements sorted?"

"Officially! They'll be leaving tomorrow. Now all I have to do is tell them..." He said reluctantly.

Cornelius continued to ruffle through his papers for the forms. "Hmm, oh look a torn page in my book... No surprise there, and no doubt it was them..." He chucked the book aside and picked up two sheets of paper. "Ah, here we are!"

"So are you going to tell them now? 'Cause I want to see the look on their faces when you tell them!" She laughed.

"Yes. I just hope they don't run away screaming like little girls... Or something stupid like that."

"Agreed."

And so the king rose out of his chair, and together, the two left the study to start towards...

"Do you know where they are?" King Cornelius asked.

"Hmm..." She placed her finger against her chin questioningly. "Just think of the most suitable place for a pair of maniacs and they'll be there." She said confidently.

"The most suitable place for a pair of maniacs..." He repeated in deep thought.

"The training grounds..." The pair said in syncronisation.

"They better not be running loose with swords!" The king groaned.

And so the two _officially_ left the study and started towards the training grounds. Where, indeed, the pair of 'maniacs' were practising the ways of the sword! -Or rather attempting to practise, which appeared more like they were playing a game of "Who can twirl their sword around the fastest"...

"Ha! I'm on my 67th twirl! Oh sorry make that 68, no 69, 70! 71 72 73..." Ike continued to mutter numbers to himself while focusing on the spinning sword.

"We get the picture!" Marth shouted, whilst continuing to spin his own sword.

Every other guard that entered the room, upon noticing Ike and Marth and their spinning sword acts, immediately turned away and began hurrying in the opposite direction...

Cornelius and Titania entered through the door and were immediately cautious.

"Oh here's a surprise!" The king said sarcastically. "No doubt a few people have already been murdered..." He stage whispered to Titania, somewhat in a serious tone.

Titania watched the two boys nervously at that.

"Marth! Ike!" King Cornelius called.

The call distracted both their concentration and their swords were sent flying from their hands. Both ended up stuck straight into the wall either side the entrance of the door where Cornelius and Titania stood. They both stared wide eyed at the sharp, silver objects that stuck out either side of them.

"Good God!" The king wheezed.

"Sorry!" Ike and Marth called over with a nervous smile.

"You two are crazy!" Titania breathed.

"And I thought here Sheeda was the crazy one." Marth said to Ike.

"Don't worry buddy." Ike replied, putting an arm around Marth's shoulder. "...She still is!"

Cornelius approached them while Titania followed behind. "I have something very important to tell you both." The king declared.

"Which is?" Ike asked, removing his arm from Marth.

"I'll just come right out and say it." The king began

"Please do." Marth replied sarcastically.

He gave his son an evil glance before continuing, "I've arranged for you both to go to Smasher's boarding school." The king readied himself for their reaction by taking a single step backwards.

"School?" Marth repeated questioningly.

"Wow!" Ike breathed in awe. "You mean the place with lots of kids that are our age! -And lots of pretty girls! -That are also our age!" Ike asked in excitement.

"Yes...?" cornelius replied.

"Ha! We don't have to hang around with the old people anymore!" Marth announced proudly.

"I'm hardly that much older than you two!" Titania declared in an offended tone.

"Aren't you like... 50?" Ike asked.

"I'M 23!" She shouted.

"Ohh...right then..." Ike replied in a monotone.

"You also have to do lots of work. Here." The king said, handing them their forms. "All the information you need is on that sheet. There's a map of the school on the back, and it has your timetables as well as the room number you will be staying in. They'll tell you all this when you arrive anyway."

Marth and Ike fiddled with the sheet, looking at it from every angle possible.

"You'll be leaving tomorrow morning. Our servants are already packing your bags."

"The sooner the better..." Titania mumbled to herself.

"Is this sort of like you're kicking us out or something?" Marth asked suspiciously.

"No! I just think you both deserve time to learn at a school with other sensible students!" The king lied, hoping they wouldn't suspect anything. They may seem like a pair of idiots, but they can be quite quick-witted when time requires it.

Marth watched his father carefully, studying whether he could be trusted while the king tried to hold a straight face as best he could. "Well okay then!" He replied shortly after.

Cornelius let out a gentle sigh. He thought his son may have seen through his lie for a moment. But apparently not.

The rest of the day carried on as normal. ('Normal' meaning a whole different perspective for Ike and Marth!) The swordsmen continued to do what they did best! Hide from the 'scary' princess... They were however, caught at one point.

"Marth!" Sheeda called, waving like the insane woman she was...

"Why does she never call me? I am here too!" Ike pouted.

"Aww there there. At least she doesn't bully you like she does to me!"

"Ha ha! You're bullied by your girlfriend!"

"I know..." Marth shivered at the thought.

The energetic girl stopped in front of them, bouncing on her heels. "I heard you were both leaving tomorrow... Marth I don't want you to go!" She grabbed him around the waist, snuggling her head against his chest.

Marth just stood there as the princess hugged him. "But you only hated me yesterday!" He said dumbfoundedly.

"I said that but I'd never mean it Marthy! I know I still have a chance for you to fall in love with me!"

Marth looked at Ike pleadingly. Ike just shrugged and mouthed _"She's your bully!"_

_"Don't you mean 'problem'?"_

_"...No."_ He laughed.

Marth rolled his eyes and began to gently pry her away from him. "Sheeda, would you let go of me. You're still very ill and confused at the moment. Maybe you should rest." He tried.

"I'm perfectly fine!" She said hugging him tighter. "I'll miss you if you leave... Can I come with you?" She looked up at him hopefully.

"No! I mean, uh... You can't. The school's not accepting anymore students, you see..." He replied nervously.

"Oh, that's such a shame..."

"Yeah... Me and Ike have to go and get everything ready so could you...?"

"Oh I'm sorry..." She sighed, releasing her grasp on him. "If I'm not going to see you for so long then... could I have a kiss to remember you by?" She asked in a depressed tone.

"How about a picture?" Ike asked, pulling out a piece of paper. He unfolded it revealing two stickmen wearing capes... "I drew it myself!" He beamed. "That's me-" He pointed to one with spiked hair. "-and that's Marth!" He said, pointing to the other.

Sheeda stared at him quizzically with one raised eyebrow. "Uhh... Wow... that's great Ike. but I, er, think I'll just stick with the kiss..."

"You just don't know great art when you see it!" He said, storming off.

"Don't leave me here alone with a psycho!" Marth cried out.

"Do I _look_ like a psycho!" She demanded in an offended tone.

"Uhh... Do I have to answer that?"

* * *

><p>And so the day <em>eventually <em>came to a close. And the sun arose from slumber during the following morning! - As it does... Though rather unexpectedly early for some. Some being Marth and Ike who had to awaken at an early hour for their flight to 'The city of Nintendo'! ...Incase you're wondering: Yes they're taking a plane. And yes, the city is called Nintendo... Because I couldn't think of anything better. And frankly I didn't bother to even try...

We currently find our... _maniacs_ saying their farewells to their family and friends! - Who only seemed too eager to get rid of them...

"Goodbye father! Goodbye Titania! Goodbye Soren! Goodbye people of Altea! ...Bye Sheeda!" Marth called, waving through the window of the plane.

"I hope you know we've already taken off." Ike mumbled through his mouthful of peanut butter sandwich.

"But the author said-"

"The author's a liar..."

The author can not lie! And I should know...

"Oh yeah! Says who?" Ike demanded.

...The author. Listen kid! You shouldn't even be able to hear what I say! So butt out of my script!

"I can't! I'm part of the story! And why the heck are you making me eat peanut butter sandwiches! I already told you, I hate them!" He moaned.

Hush! I control what goes on in this story! And I did not lie! They simply threw you out so fast that you're already arriving at Nintendo city...

"Oh, that makes sense..." Marth mused.

I've had enough of your stupidity, so I'm skipping to the part where you arrive at the school!

"Don't you mean that you're too lazy to write about how amazingly we arrived at the airport?" Ike inquired.

No! It's just that arriving at the airport is not highly amusing, and what the audience really want is something interesting to read! AM I RIGHT!

"But every second of my life is interesting!" Ike pouted.

Trust me. I'm the author of this story and I know which pieces of your adventure are completely pointless to write about. Plus I'd be here forever if I did!

"Alright! Sheesh... But I'm telling you readers, if you do want to know what we did at the airport that was highly amazing and interesting. Then just ask me! Don't tell the author!"

I can hear you...

"Pretend you can't!"

After a brief rant with Ike, and skipping the part at the airport... They finally arrived at Smasher's Boarding School! Where all sorts of strange creatures were piling into the large building on this wonderful monday morning!

"Did your dad send us to a school for animals?" Ike asked incredulously, watching a large monkey enter the building, followed by a pink marshmallow.

"Uhh... maybe it's a school for freaks?" Marth guessed.

"Hmm... I think your father's trying to say something about us..."

After standing idly for a minute, they eventually decided to enter the school, pulling their bags with them. Inside was a large hall, filled with odd looking animals.

Marth eventually spotted people who appeared somewhat human. He tugged Ike and nodded towards two girls that were stood conversing with each other.

"Oh thank God, we're not the only humans!" Ike breathed.

"Maybe we should ask them where the head master's office is located." Marth suggested.

"Yup..." Ike agreed, taking off towards the girls.

"Hi there!" He waved.

"Hello!" The blonde girl, wearing an elegant pink dress, squeaked.

"Hi. Are you two new here?" The brunette asked, as Marth reached the group.

"Yes. We came from Altea. My name's Marth and he's Ike." He replied, pointing his thumb toward Ike.

"Oh, nice to meet you." She smiled. "I'm Zelda-"

"And I'm Peach!" The hyper-active blonde intervened.

"Do you two beautiful ladies know where the principal's office is?" Ike asked coolly.

Peach giggled in reply.

Zelda rolled her eyes at her friend's behaviour before turning to Ike "Sure, if you both follow us we'll take you there." She gestured for them to follow.

They walked through the corridors, the girls leading in front while the boys stared at every creature that walked past from behind them.

"Wow! It's a yellow mouse. type. thing..." Ike exclaimed, bending down to stroke its head.

"Pika pika!" The yellow mouse. type. thing... shouted. Its cheeks erupted with zaps of electricity "CHUU!" It screeched, sending waves of a powerful electric current coursing through Ike's body. He shook violently before collapsing onto the ground, jolting occasionally from the aftermath.

Marth looked down at his friends momentarily paralyzed body. "Wow that mouse is strong..."

"Pikachu! You shouldn't do that to the new students!" Zelda said, waving a finger at the little electric mouse.

"Pika..." It replied shamefully.

"Make sure it doesn't happen again." She stated, helping Ike to his feet.

Ike gazed around in concentration as if everything seemed blurry untill he stopped on Marth. He tried to focus on his face "Ooh my God! Is th-that Bob Marley!"

Marth's eyes widened as Ike ran over an hugged him, literally picking him up from the ground. "Ike! I'm not Bob Marley I'm Marth!" He shouted, trying to struggle out of his grip. "I also can't breathe!"

"Oh Bob! I knew you'd return! What with your beautiful dreadlocks and reggae music! I wuv you!"

"AH! Someone get this mad man off me!"

Zelda, Peach and Pikachu stood staring dumbfoundedly at the scene before them.

"Should we do something?" Zelda asked concerned.

"Nah, this is actually quite funny!" Peach chuckled.

"It looks like he's being squeezed to death. If we don't stop this he'll probably die from lack of oxygen..."

"Oh all right." Peach huffed. She walked up behind Ike and whacked him in the head with a pan that seemed to have appeared from nowhere... Causing Ike to loosened his grip on his friend and dropped to the ground, unconscious.

"Maybe that was a little extreme Peach..." Zelda said, glancing nervously at Ike's body.

"Well you asked for him to be stopped and I stopped him." She replied happily studying her nails.

Marth was sat on the ground beside Ike. "Gosh, that was worse than Sheeda's hugs!" He wheezed, clutching his stomach.

"Pika?" The mouse questioned, tilting its head to the side.

"Is he still alive?" Peach asked as Zelda kneeled down beside him. She took his wrist and studied his pulse. "It appears so."

"Phew! I thought I'd might've commited murder for a second there. That wouldn't have gone down well on my records!" She breathed.

"What should we do about Bob Marley's number one fan?" Marth asked, regaining his breath.

Zelda placed a finger to her chin in thought. "Anybody got any water?"

"Hmm... I could get Mario!" Peach declared.

"Okay. But be quick, or we're not going to have much time before school starts."

"Sure we do. We have a whole hour to sort out our dorms. See you in a minute!" With that, she ran off down the corridor and back towards the hall.

"...She's quite lively." Marth stated.

"Yeah, but she's a wonderful friend." Zelda replied.

"...If you don't mind my asking, but are you an elf? Your ears are quite long."

"Well not exactly an elf!" She laughed. "My race is called 'Hylian'. We reside in a kingdom called Hyrule and I'm their princess."

"That would explain your beautiful, royal dressing."

"Thank you." She smiled.

Peach returned at that moment (Which was rather quick!), with the short plumber at her side. "Here we are Mario! Do you have Fludd with you?" She asked.

"I sure-a do! What's this-a for anyway? You drag me up-a here with no explanation?" Mario questioned.

Peach pointed at the unconscious mercenary as self explanatory.

"Oh, I-a see..."

"Yeah, so could you spray him and wake him up?" Peach asked.

"I sure-a can!" He beamed, charging up the water machine on his back. He squirted Ike over the head with the cold water, causing him to react automatically...

"AHHH! I'M MELTING!" He suddenly exclaimed, immediately sitting upright. "What happened!" He asked bewildered, glancing around the group.

"Well I hit you with a pan when your mind went a little loopy and you passed out so I said I'd go get Mario to wake you up by spraying you with water when Zelda confirmed that you were still alive then Mario got all Fludd on your butt and you sprang up screaming 'AHH! I'M MELTING!'" Peach explained without pausing for breath.

"...Okay...?" Ike replied, confused by how fast she spoke. "But you didn't have to soak me! You could've shook my shoulders!" He complained.

"Hey don't look at me, it was Zelda's idea." Peach said, gesturing towards her friend.

Zelda just shrugged in reply.

"So... Is the head master's office nearby?" Marth asked, rising to his feet.

"Oh yeah, that's what we were doing!" Peach remembered.

"Isn't it-a right there?" Mario said, pointing to the door slightly further down the corridor that read 'Principal's office'.

"So it is!" Peach exclaimed, skipping over to the door, whilst the others followed behind. (With Ike who continuously made splodging sounds with each step since his clothes were drenched!)

They all faced the door as Peach happily knocked away. Behind them, students began to pass through the corridor. One of these students (that seemed rather too old to be at a school... wearing a bandana across his head, with his neatly trimmed beard.) happened to be unfortunate enough to slip across the puddles of water Ike had left in his tracks. "AHH!" He wailed as he was sent flying down the hall. Ike, Marth, Peach, Zelda, Pikachu and Mario all turned to see what had caused the distruptance. "SNAAAAKE!" A deep voice sounded throughout the hall, causing them all to jump.

"Hmm..." Ike mused, glancing at the puddles of water on the floor "My bad!" He grinned, rubbing the back of his head.

"So it seems..." A strange voice replied from behind their backs. They all spun around to see principal Master Hand studying them quizzically. And yet he was a hand that held no expressions... Ah, the wonders of life! He momentarily paused on Ike, glancing at his clothes in puzzlement and pulling another expression as if to say 'Oh God! Not more loonatics!'. He found it useless to ask how the boy had managed to soak himself... And instead decided it would be best to ignore it.

"You two are the new students, correct?" He asked, glancing between Ike and Marth.

"Yup!" Ike beamed.

"Well I must say, not exactly a great way to start a new school..." He noted, acknowledging towards Ike's wet clothing and the accident it had caused to a fellow student. "Your name's are Ike and Marth?" He asked.

"Yep!" Marth replied.

"You both come with me into my office. The rest of you may leave."

"Alright! Come on Zel! We can tidy our dorm!" Peach squealed, grabbing Zelda's hand.

"Okay Peach. See you later Marth, Ike." She smiled before allowing her friend to take her away.

"Well-a Pikachu, lets-a go!" Mario said, taking off down the corridor in the opposite direction.

"Pika!" Pikachu replied, following after him.

...

"...Well that was quick!" Ike stated.

"Come." Master Hand ordered. He floated over to his desk, taking a seat at his chair. The swordsmen both followed behind after Ike had closed the door.

"You may take a seat." The large hand said. They both moved towards the chairs and were about to sit "-Ah wait! _You _may take a seat." He spoke to Marth. "_You_ can stand, since you've somehow managed to soak your clothes..." The hand noted accusingly toward Ike.

"Hey this was not my-" Ike started, gesturing towards his clothes.

"Save it!" The hand dismissed. "I don't care how it happened or who caused it. Just make sure you change once you arrive at your dorm."

"Okie dokie!" He grinned.

"Allow me to introduce myself. My name is principal Master Hand, and welcome to Smasher's Boarding School. I hope you read the documents I handed to you-"

Ike sputtered a quiet laughter at the mention of the word 'handed'.

"Ahem!" The hand sounded. Ike continued to pay attention. "As I was saying, If you read your documents, it will tell you which lessons you will be taking under which period."

"Fascinating..." Marth said sarcastically.

The hand gave Marth an angry look before continuing, "If you'd be so kind as to listen first and ask questions later, then we may be able to finish before the sun sets!"

"Okay." Ike and Marth agreed in syncronization.

"Well you can check all you need on your documents, such as which lessons you will be attending. And as this is a boarding school, you are expected to stay here for the whole week. Of course we do provide you with freedom after the school day has ended. You will be able to head out if you wish, or you could hang around the campus, or even take part in after school activites. And on the weekends there are no lessons scheduled, so you are allowed to return home if you wish, or remain here. It's your choice, but all students must return by monday morning.

"Okay, now that's over. The dorm you will be sharing is number 22. There is already somebody allocated to that room so you will be sharing with them also. Don't worry, there are three beds provided in the room..." He said, handing Marth the keys. "Are there any questions?" He asked.

"Yeah. What time's eating time?" Ike asked.

"Well there is breakfast served at 8:00am. a break at 11:00 until 11:30 in the morning. Lunch at 1:30 until 2:30. Then once the school day has ended at 3:30, dinner will be held at 6:00."

"Great! That's all I needed to know..."

"So if there's nothing else you want to ask then you may be dismissed." The hand announced.

"Thank God, these clothes are starting to get quite irritating!" Ike said, ruffling with his clothing.

After the two left the office, they made their way towards the west wing of the building, where the dorms were located.

"Hmm..." Ike mused, staring at the signpost above the door. He raised an eyebrow quizzically "They spell west quite strangely, don't they?"

"I know. Who spells west with an 'e' at the start?" Marth questioned.

"Man, and I thought we were idiots!"

"Yeah!- Wait. What?"

"You are idiots!" Someone called from behind. They both turned to see a beautiful girl with long blonde hair tied back into an elegant pony tail that fell gracefully down her back, and luxurious oceanic blue eyes which matched with her tight blue suit. She had her arms folded impatiently whilst she glared at the two swordsmen.

"I've been stood here for ages while you two were debating with the signpost which clearly says 'EAST'!" She complained.

Ike, who had been gawking at her beauty, snapped back to the present. "Uhh. Sorry... What was that?" He asked uncertainly.

"Ugh! The west wing is in the other direction, so move!"

"Yes ma'am!" Ike saluted "But you have to tell me your name first, my lady." He grinned.

"Oh sorry how silly of me. And while I'm at it I might as well tell you how old I am, where I live, my phone number and all the other little pieces of information about myself!" She retorted sarcastically.

"Well if you're offering..." Ike mused.

"What's a phone?" Marth asked.

She glanced at Marth with one eyebrow raised in disbelief before turning to Ike and punching him in the face. "Jerk!" she hissed, pushing him out of the way before strolling through the door with a smirk on her face.

"Ouch!" He groaned, rubbing his cheek absentmindedly. (which now resembled the colour of a tomato!) "I think she likes me!" He remarked.

"You might want to keep out of her way if you don't want to have your butt kicked." Marth warned.

"She may be strong but that doesn't mean she'd beat me in a fight." He pouted.

"No, I think she would..."

After debating on whether Ike would have his 'butt kicked' by the girl. (Which in my opinion would be that he definitely would...)

"I heard that!"

Whatever... The two continued to the opposite side of the building where the signpost read "West wing" ...Idiots...

Ike decided to growl with annoyance at the truthful remark of the author.

"Would you quit telling people what I'm doing!" He shouted. "Hey, I said stop!"

The people that walked by turned to look at Ike questioningly as he yelled at nothing but air. He grumbled something I probably wouldn't want to hear under his breath, before continuing on his way to room I've forgot the number... With Marth, of course.

They arrived at dorm number 22 and unlocked the door before stepping inside. The room had three beds, and the whole place seemed somewhat tidy. That wouldn't last very long with Ike present...

Ike let out a content sigh, before dropping his bag on the ground and falling backwards onto the first bed he saw. Arms outstretched across the length of the bed.

Marth eyes darted around the room suspiciously, as if he expected a demon to jump through the wardrobe. "Who d'you think is staying with us?" He questioned.

"Someone normal looking hopefully." Ike replied, sitting up on his bed.

As if on cue, the door opened and a boy of about 17, clad in green, with dirty blonde hair and bright blue eyes, similar ears to that of the Hylian Princess, stepped into the room with a piece of paper in his mouth and a sandwich in his hand, grinning sheepishly at the two swordsmen as he closed the door with his foot, rather than using his free hand. (Apparently he needed two hands to hold the precious and sacred sandwich...)

Marth stared at the elf boy questioningly, with one eyebrow raised in disbelief as the Hylian stepped towards him. smiling, he held out one of his hands that had been holding his sandwich. "Mhi hi'm mhinkh!" He mumbled through the paper in his mouth.

"Err... Hi... _Mhinkh_?" Marth said in puzzlement, taking the elf's hand and shaking it.

Mhinkh spat the paper out of his mouth after shaking Marth's hand and said clearly "Link." Before happily stuffing his mouth with his sandwich. An awkard moment of silence passed as Link munched his sandwich abscentmindedly. (Well awkard for Ike and Marth at least. Link seemed indifferently beaming into space as he ate.) He gulped down the last piece then turned to them.

"So your name is Marth?" He asked, facing Marth.

"Yes...?" He said uncertainly. Worried as to how this insane elf knew his name.

"And you're Ike, correct?" He asked, turning to see Ike- who had realized he had soaked his bed with his wet clothes and was now stood staring at the wet patch quizzically, unsure of what to do. When he heard the question he turned round. "Oh um... I think so." He muttered.

"And you're both staying in here, with me!" He asked excitedly. His face resembling that of a five year old who had just gotten a new pet puppy.

"Nah, we're staying next door. We thought we'd just break in here and steal all your clothes!" Marth said sarcastically, in a childish voice.

"Hey! Quit being sarcmcastic!"

"...What?" Ike asked, walking to stand beside Marth.

"Don't you mean _sarcastic?_" Marth corrected.

"_Sar_cm_castic?"_ Link questioned

"No, sar-cas-tic."

"Sar-ca... mcastic!" He beamed.

"Yeah..." Marth replied as he and Ike exchanged looks, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Did we arrive at the wrong school?" He stage whispered to Ike.

"I sincerely hope not. I don't belong in a mental institution!" They both glanced at Link who was now, somehow, sat on his bed, chewing on paper after finishing his sandwich.

"Oh good God, it's too horrible to watch!" Ike said, dramatically sheilding his eyes.

"Shh! Would it be impolite to ask if it were?" Marth asked.

Ike shrugged "Probably... Hey Link! Is this a mental institution!" Marth slapped his forehead at Ike's stupidity.

"Is this another sarcastic remark?" He asked indifferently.

"Hey you just said sarcastic! I though you couldn't pronounce it?" Marth noted.

"What do you take me for? Mentally challenged?" He smirked.

"Well... uhh..." Ike muttered.

"Ha! New kids are so easily fooled!" He laughed to himself.

* * *

><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Just so you know, if I see this story is not very popular among my fellow readers (Being you) then this won't be updated very much. But if it does become popular then I will speed it up. I want to hear your suggestions, my friends! Gosh, I hope this chapter didn't sound offensive... O_O<strong>


	3. The first day

**Introduction: Velcome back! Meheheh! Took me long enough...**

**Caution: May resolve in loss of sanity... probably...**

**Warning: May feature Oompa Loopmas. (May meaning will...)**

**Ingredients: Chocolate.**

**Instructions: Read.**

**Recommendations: Also read.**

**Suggestions: I'm thinking read.**

**Audience: Not suitable for those who cannot read.**

**Location: Made in England.**

**Conclusion: I like labels!**

* * *

><p>As the hour proceeded and Ike had changed his clothes into an exact replica (Apart from the fact that it was a rather more white and blue..) of the first, they were now ready- on time!- for their first lesson...<p>

"Did you only pack the exact same clothes in different colours?" Marth asked as he turned to Ike, who absentmindedly munched on the paper Link had been previously eating, whilst Link sat beside him cross-legged on the floor, attempting to eat his entire fist...

Marth noticed this and raised one eyebrow in disbelief. "Uhh..."

"Yeah. I'm too cool to wear anything else!" Ike announced proudly.

"You know... I did the exact same thing!" Link beamed.

"You both bought the same outfits in different colours?" Marth questioned incredilously.

"It's because we have fashion sense!" Link exclaimed.

"Gilrfriend!" Ike added, waving his finger in the air.

"Right... I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that... So what do we have first period?"

"You both have physical education with me and that guy that teaches the lesson!" Link replied in self-proclaimed genius.

"Ah right. Cause I didn't know there was someone that taught the lesson..." Marth said sarcastically.

"You didn't?" Link gawped in surprise.

"Nah, not at all!" Marth exclaimed childishly.

"Oh mai gawd-esses! Like... chocolate!"

"What does chocolate have to do with anything?" Marth asked skeptically.

"...I like chocolate..."

"Mmm chocolate..." Ike mumbled in reverie.

"Chocolate chip cookies..." Link drooled.

"Chocolate donuts..." Ike continued.

"Chocolate ice cream..."

"Chocolate sandwich..."

"Hot chocolate..."

"Charlie and the chocolate factory..."

"Oompa Loompas..."

Marth glanced between the two as they continued listing different things to do with chocolate absentmindedly. That is until he lost his patience...

"Okay! God! I get it! You both like chocolate! Sheesh! ...Link, Oompa Loompas don't taste that nice by the way."

"Have you tried one?" He asked in an all serious tone.

"As a matter of fact I have!" He smiled sarcastically.

Link's face lit up with amazement, "Holy Farore! Tell me the story!" He grinned excitedly, looking as though he were about to burst. Marth took a safe step backwards as Link's childish blue eyes watched him intently.

"Well... er, there I was! In Willy Wonka's chocolate factory! And the Oompa Loompas were singing some song about greedy children so I ate one of them... Tasted like chicken. Slight hint of orange and broccoli too... That didn't go down too well together..." He muttered with his finger placed against his chin in thought.

Link gaped in awe, "Wow... You know what I've always wanted to eat? Ganondorf's hair..."

"Ganondorf's hair?" Marth questioned skeptically.

"It looks so tasty..." He drooled, staring off into space.

Marth and Ike both gave him a weird glance.

* * *

><p>In the next moment, the three loonatics made their way through the halls of the school after they had heard the bell ring- informing them that it was time for their first lesson. Link lead them down to the changing rooms where they were to change for P.E. with all the other male students.<p>

"Hey do you have any deodorant for my pits Armpit?" One man wearing tightly fitted dark blue clothes and a red racing helmet called across to a boy with wings like an angel.

"Does it look like I carry round a bottle of deodorant? And for Medusa's sake! My name is "Pit"!"

"Alright, sheesh. Don't get your mythological undergarments in a twist, Armpit."

"Gah!" Pit sounded, flailing his arms around with irritation as he left the room.

"What's eating at his Greek shorts...?" The racer spoke monotonously.

"Man this place is creepy..." Ike muttered.

"No kidding." Marth added.

"Hey, let's just go out to the track. We'll be running for the whole hour today!" Link beamed as he made his way toward the exit. Marth and Ike followed behind as he skipped over to the class.

"Now everybody," A large, gloved hand spoke. It appeared much like Master Hand but it seemed awfully fidgety and jittery. "I hear we have new students! Where are Ike and Marth?"

"Are all the teachers at this school a race of giant, floating hands or something?" Marth stage whispered to Ike.

"That's quite disturbing..." He whispered back.

"Oh! Sir! Over here!" Link waved excitedly, pointing to Marth and Ike dramatically.

"Ah yes, here they are! Thank you Link." The hand said, turning towards the pair.

Marth and Ike glanced at each other worriedly.

"My name is Mr Crazy Hand, and welcome to Smasher's Boarding School! I'd shake your hands but mine are a little overly large!" He laughed at his own joke.

"Heheh..." Ike laughed nervously.

"Well anyway, it's wonderful to meet you two. Now class!" He turned toward the rest of the class, "We will be running on this lovely day, so get your water bottles at the ready and run your little socks off!" He announced cheerfully.

"Uh sir?" An odd looking, blue and black pokemon spoke up.

"Yes Lucario?"

He glanced down at his feet solemnly, "I'm not wearing any socks..."

"Oh well not a problem, I'm sure plenty of you here aren't wearing socks. Let's just get running everybody!" He exclaimed.

"Sir?" A robot then spoke.

The large hand sighed, "What is it Rob?"

"I-beep-Don't have feet... beep."

"Oh well you move in whatever way you can. Now no more questions! Just start running." With that, all the students started their running. A blue hedgehog sped ahead of the rest, whilst a large dinosaur-like creature trailed behind.

"You know, Mr Crazy Hand's name suits him well..." Marth pointed out as they ran the track.

"Yeah. How does a crazy hand become a sports teacher anyway?" Ike questioned.

"Beats me." Marth replied.

"Sweet Nayru! It's a tree!" Link called out randomly as he ran beside Marth.

"Uhh..." Ike sounded.

"Hey Link, just what sort of religion do you believe in anyway?" Marth asked.

"I believe in miracles!" He beamed.

"Oh... yay..."

"And the legend of the Triforce!" He continued.

"What's that?"

"It's where the three Goddesses made Hyrule, then left behind the Triforce which splits into three different sections: Power, wisdom and courage! And it's not really a religion."

"Never heard of that religion..."

"That's 'cause it's not a religion!" He huffed.

"Still never heard of it."

"You wouldn't have; You're not from where I'm from."

"Okay guys, quit bickering and pick up the pace. Look, that hedgehog is going faster than you, and it's a hedgehog!" Ike pointed out.

"Ike, that hedgehog is going faster than everybody here! How do you expect us to catch up to him?" Marth asked skeptically.

"Uh, gosh... I didn't think that far ahead..."

"No duh, he'd have to be fast if his name's Sonic." Link said.

"Not really. Your name is Link and I don't see you "Linking" to anything." Ike retorted.

"I'll "link" your arm and skip merrily across a field full of flowers if you don't quit talking back to me!" Link warned, narrowing his eyes at the mercenary.

"Was that suppose to be threatening? God I'd hate to get on your bad side. You'd probably take me on a date to a fancy restaurant, hand me a big bouquet of roses and offer to pay the bill!" Ike shivered at the thought.

"Let's hope you don't get on my bad side then." Link beamed.

The lesson continued on for a while untill Mr Crazy Hand called in all the students. Everybody came quickly over to where Crazy Hand stood... Floated.

"Now students! We all need to stretch before we move on to the next lesson. So start stretching your muscles." He ordered. Needless to say everyboody started stretching.

Marth, Ike and Link all began stretching their arms when the man with the tight blue suit and red helmet from earlier came over to stretch beside them.

"Hey, you the new guys! My name's Captain Falcon." He grinned, his voice sounding highly over-exaggerated...

"Hey!-" Link began, as he waved enthusiastically at Falcon.

"Not you Link." He cut him short. Link dropped his hand and pouted.

"Hi I'm Ike!" He smiled pleasantly.

"I'm Marth."

"Well Ike and Marth! Since you're new here, how 'bout you guys and I get a little frisky once school is over?" He raised an eyebrow, smiling crookedly.

"Umm... What?" Marth asked uncertainly.

"You know, show me your moves and all that."

"Oh, er... well..." Marth stuttered, taken aback by what the racer was suggesting.

"I am so creeped out..." Ike whispered.

"Hey Falcon, can I?-" Link started.

"No Link. You and I did that together last week; I want a new and different experience." He folded his arms across his chest as he spoke in that over-exaggerated voice.

"Uh... That's great in all, but you see... err... me and Ike aren't really... you know: ...Gay. So, um, you can just stick with Link...?" Marth said awkwardly.

Captain Falcon began hooting with laughter, causing many of the students to glance over questioningly. Ike and Marth looked at each other with the same dumbfounded expression as the laughter proceeded. Marth then glanced over at Link who just shrugged at the racer's odd behaviour.

Captain Falcon wheezed as he tried to control his laughing fit, "You guys are, so, funny!" He burst into another fit of laughter before trying to breathe steadily, "I meant the fighting tournaments we have at this school! That's why it's called "Smasher's" Boarding School." He chuckled.

"Ohh..." Marth breathed in realisation, "I think you need to phrase your sentences a little better..."

"There are fighting tournaments?" Ike asked excitedly.

"Sure there are, hasn't anybody told you 'bout 'em?" Falcon questioned.

"Obviously not." Marth pointed out.

Captain Falcon shot a glare towards Marth, "Okay Mr wise guy, why don't I show you the fighting stage after school?"

"Yeah!" Ike exclaimed.

"Oh! I want to see it too!" Link beamed eagerly.

"Link... you've already seen it..." Falcon sighed.

* * *

><p>As the day continued, Ike and Marth moved onto to their next lessons, realising that the teachers were not all giant floating hands and proceeding to do stupid things in each classroom, annoying all the teachers and what not- especially with Marth's sarcastic attitude... On the plus side: Marth discovered what a phone was. On the down side: He accidently dialed emergency services during math...<p>

That brings us to now, where their next lesson will be spent apart from one another! The horror... Ike had history class, whilst Marth had chemistry. Link pointed them in the right directions before moving on to his own lesson: Spanish.

Marth walked through the hallway, past many people, and strange looking creatures of course. He came to the room Link had mentioned that read "Room 52: Chemistry"

_"Straightforward enough." _Marth thought to himself before pulling on the door. The door didn't budge so he pulled at it again.

Within the classroom, all the students were already seated to begin, and a witch-like teacher with green skin, white hair and an overly large nose stood at the front with eyes drew into slits as she watched him struggle with the door.

"Push the door, boy! You're wasting my time!"

"Oh." Marth said as he pushed on the door. It opened and he stepped in, closing it behind him.

"The door is clearly labelled with the word "Push" on the outside..." She muttered. "You must be the new kid, quite obviously... We're doing an experiment today so why don't you sit over there next to Zelda." She pointed a long, boney finger toward the Hylian princess, sitting a few rows back. "Oh and my name is Miss Kotake. Neyehe! Pardon..."

He looked towards Zelda, who smiled pleasantly in return. "Nice to meet you too Miss Kotake." He spoke sarcastically as he passed her and sat beside the princess. The witch grumbled under her breath in return.

"Hey again." She whispered as Kotake proceeded to explain the experiment to the class.

"Hi." He whispered back.

"How's your day at school been so far?"

"Well I'm rooming with an insane elf that likes chocolate, was wrongly freaked out by some cocky guy called Captain Falcon during track and discovered that the head master is actually just a floating hand..."

"Yeah, I thought that was quite disturbing when I first came here..."

"You two, quit talking!" Miss Kotake ordered, before turning back to the rest of the class, "You will all need to choose a partner that you'd be happy to work with during this project. For the first experiment, we will be seeing what forms when hydrochloric acid is combined with different hydroxides. Now someone from each pair come and collect the equipment." As she finished her sentence, half the class began rising from their chairs to fetch what they needed.

"Well I guess we can work together." Zelda smiled as she also rose from her chair, "I'll get the equipment."

"Sure." Marth smiled.

Once she had returned, she placed the equipment on the table in front of Marth (who looked at it as if it were alien) then seated herself back down.

"So," She began, "Are you any good at chemistry?"

"Well surely it can't be that hard..." He replied, eyeing the chemicals in front of him warily. "Can this stuff kill?"

"No but if it gets on your skin it will cause irritation."

"What if I drank it?"

"Well if you drink alot then yeah, you'll probably die." She smiled indifferently.

Marth looked horrified at the chemicals and slightly leaned away from them as if they were going to jump up and attack him. "Uhh, why don't you do the experiment and I record the results?"

"Marth, the chemicals aren't going to just jump into your mouth. But if you really are that scared of them, then I'll be happy to let you just record the results." She beamed, "Heck we don't even have to do the experiment to know that hydrochloric acid combined with sodium hydroxide makes sodium chloride and water, and that the equation would be HCl add NaOH makes NaCl add H2O..." She muttered.

"Huh? What makes who now?" Marth looked dumbstruck.

She shook her head, smiling lightly, "Doesn't matter, let's just get on with it."

"I feel like an idiot around you..."

"You _are_ an idiot!" Captain Falcon declared as he passed by.

Marth raised his eyebrow at the racer, "God, I had no idea he was in here..."

Zelda just pursed her lips and shrugged.

* * *

><p>The bell eventually rang throughout the school, signalling the start of lunch, and Marth walked with Zelda to the school's cafeteria- or "refectory" as some called it.<p>

They entered the large hall, filled out with many tables and chairs, odd looking creatures (as always) , and the school crooks- I mean, uh: Cooks... Of course! Serving vomit on a platter *cough* pardon... Serving "food" to a queue of hungry looking... err... students.

Princess Zelda lead Marth through the crowds of people to a table where Peach and Mario were sitting.

"Hey Zel! And Marth, good to see you again! I did my nails earlier!" Peach announced proudly, holding out her hand to reveal a bright pink set of nails.

"Weren't they like that when I met you?" Marth asked skeptically, as he and Zelda took seats opposite the two.

She looked at him in shock as she pulled her hand away protectively, "No they were not! I added another coat!"

"Oh... Right..."

"Hey you two let's not have any arguements, kay?" Zelda said cheerfully.

"Fine by me!" Peach beamed as she took a bite of her sandwich.

"Hey-a Marth what-a happened to Ike?" Mario questioned.

"He died a tragic death when he was given a spelling test. Apparently the word "chair" was too much for him to handle..." Marth shrugged.

"Hey I'll have you know I was so close to getting that one right!" Ike declared from behind Marth, causing him to jump and turn to face him.

"How did you get there!" He asked in surprise.

"Same way Link got over there." Ike replied, gesturing towards Link, who was somehow seated at the end of the table, near to Zelda and Peach as he waved enthusiastically at Marth.

Marth narrowed his eyes at the two.

"Hey Ike!" Peach grinned, "How's your head?"

"Huh? Oh it's fine!" Ike smiled whilst he took a seat opposite Link.

Link glanced around the table, "So I'm guessing you've all already met?"

Zelda smiled, "Course. Peach, Mario and I helped Ike and Marth get to the principal's office in the morning. And Marth and I are partners-"

"Whoa! That was quick! How'd that happen?" Link asked bemusedly as he glanced between Marth and Zelda.

"Not like that Link. I meant we're _lab_ partners." She explained.

"Oh... That makes more sense!" He beamed.

"Why? Would you be jealous if we were together?" Marth smirked.

"Aww Zel, looks like you've got some cute boys fighting over you!" Peach winked.

"Heheh... Not what I really want..." She blushed shyly.

Link narrowed his eyes at the prince, "What if I said I would be?"

Marth thought for a moment before shrugging cluelessly.

"Hey Mario." Ike whispered to the short plumber.

"What-a?" Mario replied.

"I like pancakes..." He grinned.

"Really? I like-a mushrooms!"

"No way... Me too! We have so much in common!"

"I know-a. We-a could be brothers!"

"Marth! I have a brother!" Ike grinned sheepishly.

Marth raised an eyebrow at the mercenary, "Yeah... You also have a sister..."

"Wow! I wish I had a sister!" Peach pouted.

"Peach... Daisy is technically your sister." Zelda pointed out.

"Oh yeah!" She grinned.

Link sat, silently fiddling with his hands.

"Oh no..." A girl sounded from behind Zelda. They all turned to see the beautiful girl, who could undoubtly kick Ike's butt, stood holding a tray of food.

"Hi Sam!" Peach beamed. "Come take a seat!"

She eyed Ike with disgust, "I'd rather not if you're sitting with that creep."

"So your name is Sam." Ike smiled.

"My name is none of your concern!" She growled, baring her teeth.

"Samus that's-a not-a very nice. Ike is-a mah brother." Mario said defensively.

"Really?" Samus glanced at the two skeptically.

"Yeah, we-a both-a like mushrooms!" He grinned.

She stared at Mario with an expression that read "like I really give a damn" before muttering "Wonderful..." Then she turned on her heel and took off in the opposite direction.

"What's with her?" Ike asked.

"Oh don't worry Ike. She's always acting tough, but she'll warm up to you eventually." Peach assured with the flap of her hand. "Just give her some time."

Ike looked doubtful.

"Hey guys!" Captain Falcon's over-exaggerated voice sounded from behind Ike and Marth. They turned to see him stood proudly, with his hands placed on his hips.

Link bit his lip as he stared down at the table.

"Hey Falcon!" Peach beamed.

"Hiya Peach. How's my favourite turnip-plucking-princess?" He grinned.

"I'm great!" She replied happily.

"Good. So anyway: Ike, Marth, would you two mind helping me with something?" He asked in that over-exaggerated voice of his...

"Sure, what is it?" Ike asked.

"Well there are a few tasks I need to attend to and since you're both new here, I reckon it will help you both get to know the school a little better!" He grinned.

"I don't see why not." Marth spoke.

"Great! Follow me!" He exclaimed as he turned and walked proudly away. Ike and Marth both raised an eyebrow as they glanced at each other, before proceeding to stand and catch up to the racer.

Zelda, Peach and Mario watched them leave.

"I wonder what Captain Falcon's got planned up his tight sleeve..." Peach said, eyeing his departing figure.

Zelda shrugged, "Let's just hope he doesn't get them into trouble or anything."

"Agreed." Peach replied.

"Hey-a Link, what's-a up?" Mario asked as the Hylian got to his feet.

"Well obviously: He is." Peach said matter-of-factly.

"You okay Link?" Zelda asked with concern as she glanced up at him.

"Hm... Course." He feigned a gentle smile. "I just need to go somewhere..." He said simply as he headed away from the table.

Zelda watched him leave.

-Peach watched her, watching him leave.

-And Mario watched Peach, watching Zelda, watching Link, with a glance as if to say "creepy..."

* * *

><p><strong>The first thing I discovered while writing this... Is that I have an odd sense of humour... Gotta love me for it though, right! ... Hmmm...<strong>

**Just wanted to say: I thought Link was really cute in this chapter. Don't you think? Or is that just me...?**

**Also wanted to mention: It seems like Marth got a slight change of attitude... Or is that also just me?**

**Either way don't blame me! This story got a mind of it's own! D:**

**Heheh... Wonder what Link is doing... He seems down! :( I'm as interested to find out as you might be! Believe me this story just pops into my mind and I write it... I think it's using me... . Either that or I'm crazy...**

**P.S: If you're agreeing with the "I'm crazy" then I'll eat you.**

**P.P.S: If you're now thinking "Yeah 'cause that's not crazy..." about the P.S. Then I swear I'll take you out to a fancy restaurant, buy you a big bouquet of roses and offer to pay the bill! Yeah I went there!**

**Anyway, have a great day and thanks for reading if you made it this far! :D**


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